Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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