that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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