he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
