Already got asked if we're dating
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
