Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
