SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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