Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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