we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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