another moral hangover. fuck.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
