You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
