They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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