bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
