loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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