I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize