Everything about him screamed your future.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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