God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
