Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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