I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
