I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
