nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
