remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
