If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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