dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
