this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Boobs speak an international language.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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