My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize