Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
