I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
