Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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