My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
