im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
