My nipple is on Facebook.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize