Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
