I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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