i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
