the condom got lost in my hair
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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