I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
