Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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