the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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