He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
