Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
