dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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