Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
