It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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