Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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