I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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