just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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