I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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