Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
