SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am midnight drunk by noon
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You ruined the universe
Randomize
