anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
