Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
