i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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