You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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