How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize