Only a mothe r could love this liver
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
