piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
