But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
