i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
