Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize