so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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