come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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