i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
