it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
