I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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