You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
