Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
