That's intense
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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