super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Pooping to opera.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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