Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize