yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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