Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
