You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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