i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
sex in a hospital.. check
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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