just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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