you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
there is puke in my bra ... again
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
