Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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